I’ve been falling asleep to bigger-than-life fairy-lights; of the skyscraper kind. I’ve been talking too loud. And I’ve French-kissed, at times with a reason, most of the time without. I’ve been waiting for autumn, and wool leggings, and earmuffs; and somehow, I’m sort of day-dreaming about the past few months and how the sun would feel on my skin and how the beer made my tongue tingle and how pieds-nus [barefeet] was the only way to go, just by reading Nikole’s words. I’ve been waiting for something else too, someone else really. I’m still waiting, but shhh… that’s a secret.
I’ve been working days and nights. Or perhaps, it is nights and days. I’ve forgotten how to count weeks. Hours. Minutes. And seconds too.
I’ve felt the wind from the top of that bridge, late at night. Or very early in the morning, your call. I’ve tied my hair into a ponytail and walked through the meat-market. I’ve made plans to visit the fish market after that, but really, the comfort of my bed was all we needed.
I didn’t take no for an answer. And for the first time this year, I’ve said no out-loud. Many times. It might be a back-to-school illusion, but I’ve sort of grown up. And yet, I’ve been eating ice-cream straight from the tub, bath or not. I’ve employed magical thinking when making bread. I’ve made wishes at every shooting star I saw. I’ve dreamt. And really, no matter how old I ever get, I never want to stop dreaming.
Right now, I dream of things you’ll know about soon enough. The obvious and the less obvious.
The not-so-official September dream/happy-list.
1. Three rolls of film. To be developed. To be continued really.
2. Closing my eyes at every street corner and wishing to see his face.
3. Taping that last full stop in the manuscript I’ve been meaning to finish for months. Yes, I’m still not over.
4. Watercolour and brushes. Illustrations for that book of mine that still feels too pinch-me-I’m-dreaming good to be true.
5. That secret thing I will know more about tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me. And your toes too!
6. Sitting by the Thames. And looking at the clouds go by.
7. The coffee missions my friend Francesca has been enrolling me in, not unlike a treasure hunt. So far, it’s been amazing.
8. Hearing the sound of raindrops against my window. Such a classic cliché, such a broken record; and yet, I’ll never ever ever get tired of it. Figs too, by the way.
9. Sleeping with no other alarm than the sun shining through the curtains.
10. The giant fabric baobab I see very early in the morning. The one that makes me feel like I’m in Le Petit Prince.
11. Yes, eleventh, just because it feels right: the most gorgeous dinner I’m ever going to eat. Yes, it’s on the way. And more.
I’d like to talk more. But you see, there is a consommé with halibut and some fennel – of the baby, caramelised kind – being cooked in my house, and there is white wine in tall mismatched glasses, and it rained tonight! And most importantly, escargots would go in the wild. Adorable and all.
What are you dreaming about these days anyway?